How to beat the ‘Lonely Entrepreneur’ syndrome

It’s fun running a company! It gives you immense satisfaction, power, status and money (hopefully!) to name a few.  It’s also tough running a company.  It comes with a lot of pressure and responsibility.  One significant issue is the loneliness at the top.  A recent CEO survey reported that over half of the CEOs surveyed admitted being lonely. And 60% of those admitted that it affected their performance.  Despite having numerous employees to talk to, there are few, if any, with whom they can really share.  Apple has 123,000 employees and yet Tim Cook says its lonely being CEO.

For a Family Business leader, the loneliness can be worse.  Like any other CEO, they are surrounded by employees.  Yet, speaking their mind to their boss might not always be their highest priority.

For a Family Business leader, the added complication is family members working in your company.  The same people you also meet with and interact with at home.  You might not want to burden a family member with your deepest thoughts on the state of the business.  Or you feel like the family member might respect you less for your insecurities.  That can be ego-crushing.  None of us wants to appear inadequate and not on the top of things.  Especially to a family member.

Being an active member of industry associations can seem like a good way out of the loneliness.  It is, but in a limited way.  Industry associations are great platforms to network with people in your industry or region.  But their key utility is in highlighting the great job your company is doing.  Or in getting a platform for policy advocacy.  Sharing existential or other challenges might not be a very good idea.

So how do you make life less lonely at the top?  There are two options for you to consider.

Option 1:  The professional gang.  Form a group of 3-5 like-minded leaders.  Meet regularly to share success, failure and challenges.  Sharing here means the ‘whole truth’.  Guard against constituting a gang of your best buddies.  Your best buddies might be great company for dinner.  Yet, they might not be in the best position or simply not capable of advising you on business.

Option 2: Get a coach/advisor.  Get someone who can ask you the right questions and hold a mirror up to you on an ongoing basis.

In both options, you need to try and make sure the involved people are those

• Who will maintain confidentiality. What you say stays with them
• Who will not hurt you, in any way or take advantage of your vulnerabilities
• Who can have a frank dialogue with you. This means you don’t need someone who talks down to you.  Equally, you don’t need someone who is in awe of you
• Who provide counsel rather than pass judgement. And can keep their ego aside while speaking with you

In both options, you also need to let yourself be vulnerable.  You never know whether you can trust someone, without trusting them in the first place.  Follow your gut and check references to know who you can trust.

To conclude, in case you feel lonely at the top, you’re not alone! A good proportion of people at the top feel that way.  It’s important to recognize it and try to do something about it.  That can take away a lot of the stress and help you and your companies performance.

Have you experienced the ‘Loneliness syndrome’ and how have you dealt with it?  Comment below to share your experience with the community or write to/call me at sunildias@iv-advisors.com / 9322737127.